Holiday Echoes
The thing about holidays - particularly the ones clustered at the end of the year - is that they are filled with echoes from our past. These holidays are typically the “biggest” celebrations of the entire year: Christmas, Hannukah, and Kwanzaa to name a few. Because of this, they tend to have BIG memories and feelings, causing echoes to emerge within us, and through our behavior. And, the thing about echoes is that oftentimes we don’t even realize that what you are experiencing today is a reemergence of something else that manifested, even before you.
As we prepare for the festivities, as we write out shopping lists, put up decorations and wrap presents, we embody both:
the child and the parent
the giver and receiver
the host and the hosted
the present self and the ancestor
We carry with us the layers of our past, and the feelings that emerge from unhealed wounds. These are wounds of a child who didn’t get their physical or emotional needs met. These are the feelings of anxiety that are rooted in family conflict, or perhaps the more subtle and painful criticisms related to physical appearance. These are the harmful thoughts of not being “good enough,” driven by the competitive nature of family interactions, requiring to “one up” or to “punch down.” Or perhaps, it is the pressure of perfection, demanding that we (out- or over-) perform the joy of the season, while making financial sacrifices to maintain the perception of abundance with pristine decor throughout the home.
These echoes ripple through our beings throughout our lives, but the holiday season serves as a megaphone, magnifying these thoughts and emotions as we compulsively perform in an effort to outrun what has become a part of us.
However, the beauty in recognizing these trends or “echoes” is the ability to break the cycle of “passing down” what has come to be viewed as tradition. Instead, when we truly choose to confront the unhealthy elements of our holiday ritual, and when we choose to heal elements of hurt that were passed down to us from our parents’ wounds, we can truly change the way of doing and being.
We are not bound by the way things have always been.
Though change certainly doesn’t come easy, you have the power to hold the pen for what your future holds. You can choose to honor your humanity - the part of you that is hurt, that is tired, that is needy - while making room for a more authentic and fulfilling experience (for yourself and others.) By choosing to honor and heal ourselves, you empower others to do the same. Here are a few ways that you can start exploring your own echoes and the complexity of emotions that emerge during this time of year:
What were holidays like as a kid?
What were holidays like for your parents?
In what ways do you feel pressured during the holidays?
What are the emotions that come up for you every year?
What do you find is the most joyful aspect of the holidays for you?
In a world that commands you to move faster, purchase larger, and do more than the year before, I only ask that you take a moment to pause. As an act of rebellion and as an act of disruption, I ask that you explore the potential of redefining your ritual.
In Short: As we prepare for the festivities, let us embrace the opportunity to break the cycle, to redefine our celebrations not as a mere repetition of tradition, but as a conscious choice to cultivate joy, connection, and a new legacy. In doing so, we not only redefine the holidays for ourselves but pave the way for a future where our echoes resonate with love, understanding, and healing.
Happy holidays to you and yours.
With Love.